literature

Red Hands

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Literature Text

I woke up in a bathtub filled with a pool of my own vomit. My vision was extremely blurry, but from what I could tell, I think that I was in a bathroom that I didn’t recognize in a house that I had no recollection of. And my head hurt like hell.

I shakily stood up grabbing onto the side of the tub for assistance. The world was spinning around me. Crap. It’s happening, again. The walls were exploding with color. It looks like a paint war happened in here. I looked down at my shirt. It was splattered with red. My hands were red too. What the hell happened?! I couldn’t remember a thing from last night. All I knew is that I was in an extremely colorful bathroom – like what you’d see on LSD –, I was soaked in a red substance, and I smelled like vomit and alcohol.

I wiped the sweat off of my brow. Why the heck was I so sweaty? I remember drinking last night, but it wasn’t that much... was it? I looked in the mirror. I had that same red substance dripping down my forehead. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I quickly washed my hands and I washed off my forehead. I couldn’t get the red stain out of my shirt, but I thought it’d be okay. I just needed to know where I was.

I walked out of the super colorful bathroom into a much darker hallway. It only led out, so I followed it. Shadows danced across the walls. I walked into what must’ve been a living room. The smell of cigarettes lingered in the air. There was still a cigar just slightly burning on an ash tray on a table. The smoke still hanging in the air didn’t help my clouded vision. I had to squint for the world to be clearer, but when I could see a little better, I noticed there were bodies laying motionless over all of the couches and chair, even the floor. Each of them was soaked with that same red substance I was coated in.

I looked at my no longer red hands. I looked at my red shirt. I looked at the red stained bodies. I looked back down at my hands. Oh my god, did I do this to them?

I heared sirens wailing outside. Police? Not again! I stumbled around to head to the back of the house. I tripped over something – the carpet maybe? – and I fell against a wall. The sirens grew louder, and so did my headache. A wave of nausea crashed over me and pushed me farther into the ground. I felt like someone was stepping on my head. I tried to get up, but the world was spinning too fast. I couldn’t get up. I felt so motion sick. I fell back to the ground and held my stomach. I could feel whatever I ate last night pushing up into my throat, and I couldn’t hold it back. I lost it all over the carpet.

The sirens just blared louder and louder. Holy crap; I can’t let them catch me, not again, not again... But I just felt so sick. I couldn’t keep my head up. My stomach was doing flips. I couldn’t move from my spot. I heard the door open. “Freeze!” they shouted. CRAP! I shouted, or at least I think that’s what I shouted. Before I knew what was happening, I suddenly just drew so tired and I passed out on the carpet in a puddle of my own vomit, surrounded by the blood-red stained bodies.
~~~

Tyler and Jesse came running into their house, each holding a bag of colorful cornstarch, like what you’d see at a color run. “Killer party last night, right, Jesse?” Tyler shouted. He slurred over his words, clearly drunk.

“Yeah, killer,” Jesse responded with a cigarette in mouth. “So, do you really think that the color was a good idea to have?” Jesse looked down at his orange, blue, and red stained shirt.

Tyler laughed. “Of course it was! It’s what made the party!” As they continued through the house to the living room, they noticed one of the partygoers was still conscious and he was leaning against a wall, his back towards them. “Freeze!” Tyler shouted raising the bag of color over his head.

The partygoer dropped to the ground and obviously passed out. Jesse looked at the other passed out people lying on the couches. They were coated in red cornstarch. Jesse walked over to the recently knocked out partygoer. His hands had remnants of color on them; the partygoer must’ve tried to wash them because red had dripped on the carpet leading back into the bathroom. Jesse inspected the extremely colorful bathroom. Apparently a color war had happened in there, too. “Uh, Tyler, maybe we shouldn’t have had the color party...”

Tyler kept laughing as he kept poking the newly passed out partygoer with his bag of green cornstarch. “I think this guy may have gone a little overboard with the red color...”
FFM Day 3: "Lie to me" write from the perspective of an unreliable narrator.

Very first thing I thought of when I heard "unreliable narrator" was "POE!" Edgar Allen Poe is pretty much known for his unreliable narrators, whether they were killers, or just casual drug dealers, they usually weren't trusted. Take The Fall of the House of Usher for example, the narrator is unreliable due to the fact that he has taken drugs before, likely was still on them, and he even believed that he was being infected with what his friend had. So I thought, how do I become Poe?

Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. And alcohol. So, my narrator is going through a hangover. I've never had personal experience of a hangover, so I hope that I did well (if not, please tell me!). Yes, there's a transition to a different narrator who is reliable, but I did that so you'd understand kind of what really happened. So, yes, I did write from the perspective of an unreliable narrator, but I also cleared it up with a reliable one too, so that's technically still completely the challenge.

I've love your opinion! Do you think I successfully made an unreliable narrator? Or did you trust him the whole time?

Word count: 850 words
© 2014 - 2024 FieryDownpour479
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TheBrokenBride's avatar
Heh. I like the twist in this! Also, I feel really bad for the first narrator D=